The discipline of solitude stands formidably. To be cut off from human company sounds like a severe discipline indeed. As Foster explains, though, this is not so much a exercise in solitary confinement, as it is one of cultivating silence of soul. To be solitary is to listen instead of speaking, to step out of the fast pace of life when we get that minute of extra time, instead of filling it with noise. Solitude does not necessarily mean locking oneself away from the world, but carrying that still, centered frame of mind through the day. Most importantly, it is to allow God to act, to be our justifier instead of acting in fear and trying to take the reins.
To practice solitude, I took a day to be conscious of how I used my time. Instead of allowing myself busy actions and noise, I cut out what I could from my life. I did not listen to music while doing homework, and spent as little time online as possible. To top it off, I went on a forest stroll. Though cutting out busy time from my life was not terribly successful, the focused walk helped me learn what solitude looks like.
Usually when I go for a walk, I think about anything and everything. This time, I wanted to hear God speak, I wanted to hear what He had to say. There will always be something to think about, but will I always listen to God's voice? I silenced the voice in my head and just listened and soaked nature in.The tapping of a woodpecker, the fluttering of chickadees, the distant hum of cars, the faint plash of the creek, the rustling of dry grass and dead leaves were little wonders. How well He takes care of each blade of grass, each leaf, that perhaps no one has ever seen but I! Created just for me to see? Or created just to make God smile? So many of these intricacies no one has ever, nor will ever see.
No matter where I go in life, I will always be able to experience a nook of nature, even if it is in a place I've never been before. It will always be waiting for me when I need solitude. It is my home, a ceiling, walls, and windows, made without hands. What is a home, but a place to be invited, to bask in its comfort, to appreciate the homey details, to hear the voice of loved ones? And here, I hear God's voice. Like never before, I hear His soft answers to my silly, sincere questions. If I try answer my own questions, to fill my head with words, I might have decent anwers, but I will have missed my Father's voice, true North.
This Thanksgiving weekend, above the many things I have to be thankful for, I'm grateful to God for being, in Himself, everything I need. I'm thankful I can hear His voice clearer than I ever have. True, sometimes God is silent. But sometimes, He speaks in a still, small voice.
Listen.
We don't have to figure everything out.
Just listen.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Friday, November 16, 2012
In Foster's chapter on simplicity, he identifies three inner attitudes of simplicity. "If [1.] what we have is a gift, and [2] what we have is to be cared for by God, and if [3] what we have is available to others, then we will possess freedom from anxiety. This is the inward reality of simplcity."
Much of this week's lesson was about having freedom from attachment to worldly goods. As I searched for ways on how this lesson applied to me, I remembered something that has been impressed on my mind lately. In response to this chapter, I decided to remember and apply the discipline of simplicity every time it was challenged in this way.
I found that my struggle is not so much with physical possesions as it is with my friendships. I believe I could give up all of my little treasures and be down to $0 in my bank account and still be happily praising God - it'd be hard, yes, but it wouldn't level me. However, the thought of losing intimacy I've gained in any friendship stings. If you've read my spiritual autobiography post, you know there was a time in my life when I lacked friends. Now that I have been given (oh so graciously!) so many strong relationships, my reaction is to hoard, at least in my mind. I recoil to think of my friends moving on from a friendship, or worse, replacing me. When I see others chumming with people I had hoped to become close with, a little pang of jealousy rises up. Yes, I try to squelch and smother it, but I wonder, what is fundamentally wrong with my outlook that makes me jealous of in my friendships?
Reading about simplicity, it kind of came together. Foster's first two attitudes of simplicity are the reminder that what we have is a gift, and cared for by God. I do not deserve my relationships, they are a gift, a blessing, from God. All I truly need in life is Him. God brought me through the time when it was just Him and I, in fact, I grew a lot during that time. I need to trust that God is sufficient for all of my needs and He alone knows what is best: He will provide people, He will take them away.
Foster's last check of simplicity is that what we have be available to others. My friends are not only a blessing to me, but to others as well. I need to cultivate a deeper appreciation of their gifts, and dwell on what God has for them in life. We immortals, what many paths God may lead us on before the end! Their companionship is a joy when God has led it to cross ways with mine. But God may be leading them on richer, wilder roads, so it is not mine to cling to them now. We are all like ships passing in the night, our lights bring joy to others when we pass, but we each wind our own course. What a better friend I would be if I thought more about where God is leading others, and rejoicing and discovering the beauty of who they are in Him!
The reminder also remains: I will see them in heaven, where we all shall have the freest and deepest relationships with NO barriers, no pulling back. Then we shall communicate simply with each other, for our focus will be pure and undividedly God-centered. This is simplicity: that we de-center ourselves from our lives and put God in the center of our hearts, wills, and loves.
Much of this week's lesson was about having freedom from attachment to worldly goods. As I searched for ways on how this lesson applied to me, I remembered something that has been impressed on my mind lately. In response to this chapter, I decided to remember and apply the discipline of simplicity every time it was challenged in this way.
I found that my struggle is not so much with physical possesions as it is with my friendships. I believe I could give up all of my little treasures and be down to $0 in my bank account and still be happily praising God - it'd be hard, yes, but it wouldn't level me. However, the thought of losing intimacy I've gained in any friendship stings. If you've read my spiritual autobiography post, you know there was a time in my life when I lacked friends. Now that I have been given (oh so graciously!) so many strong relationships, my reaction is to hoard, at least in my mind. I recoil to think of my friends moving on from a friendship, or worse, replacing me. When I see others chumming with people I had hoped to become close with, a little pang of jealousy rises up. Yes, I try to squelch and smother it, but I wonder, what is fundamentally wrong with my outlook that makes me jealous of in my friendships?
Reading about simplicity, it kind of came together. Foster's first two attitudes of simplicity are the reminder that what we have is a gift, and cared for by God. I do not deserve my relationships, they are a gift, a blessing, from God. All I truly need in life is Him. God brought me through the time when it was just Him and I, in fact, I grew a lot during that time. I need to trust that God is sufficient for all of my needs and He alone knows what is best: He will provide people, He will take them away.
Foster's last check of simplicity is that what we have be available to others. My friends are not only a blessing to me, but to others as well. I need to cultivate a deeper appreciation of their gifts, and dwell on what God has for them in life. We immortals, what many paths God may lead us on before the end! Their companionship is a joy when God has led it to cross ways with mine. But God may be leading them on richer, wilder roads, so it is not mine to cling to them now. We are all like ships passing in the night, our lights bring joy to others when we pass, but we each wind our own course. What a better friend I would be if I thought more about where God is leading others, and rejoicing and discovering the beauty of who they are in Him!
The reminder also remains: I will see them in heaven, where we all shall have the freest and deepest relationships with NO barriers, no pulling back. Then we shall communicate simply with each other, for our focus will be pure and undividedly God-centered. This is simplicity: that we de-center ourselves from our lives and put God in the center of our hearts, wills, and loves.
Friday, November 9, 2012
As a student, studying is perhaps the thing I want to do the least. Isn't my brain bent over the books enough without turning my devotional time with God into work?
However, studying it is. Isaiah 40 was the chapter I decided to study. I had read this chapter recently in preparation for a Bible study, and struck with its beautiful description of God's relationship with His people. To be honest, in choosing to study this passage at this time, I was killing four birds with one stone: along with using it to meeting my study requirement for Spiritual Formation class, I had selected this chapter to memorize for extra credit in another class, and ultimately, I desired to learn more about God as well as prepare for a day of worship. I decided to set a chunk of time for studying on Sunday morning to take advantage of the time change. Setting my phone for an hour, I found an empty room with a large window, and settled down to study.
All thoughts of the tedium of studying were dispelled when I read the first two verses.
Comfort ye.
Comfort ye my people, saith your God. Speak ye comfortably to Jerusalem, and cry unto her, that her warfare is accomplished,
that her iniquity is pardoned: for she hath received of the Lord's hand
double
for all her sins.
The method of study I chose was to transcribe the chapter. Verse after verse flowed from my pencil, rich with the majesty, love, and glorious incomprehensibility of God. Any unease about studying drained from me, leaving me with peace. No, it was not an epiphanal moment. But it was an hour free of concern, knowing I was turning my attention and desires to God, the most worthwhile activity I could undertake. More importantly, I know that through that time, he was pursuing me, pursuing me with comfort, of all things. It almost sounds blasphemous to say it. So often I feel guilt for not doing my share, for making wrong decisions, for allowing misguided, sinful thoughts to control my actions. I forget that God doesn't just wait for me to turn to Him, but He is constantly, persistently, painstakingly, generously, simply pursuing me. I don't need to struggle, He has accomplished the war, on the cross He took away the burden of my sins, and has not only forgiven me, but paid for me doubly with mercy, love, and acceptance. I forget that He is not only offering me heaven at the end of life, but solace here, in Him. It's not wrong to want to be comforted and affirmed, no, we're made for it, we were made to receive God's validating love and acceptance.
After that experience, I have planned to continue to set aside that hour each Sunday morning. The peace I found also prompted me to try to read at least a chapter of my Bible each day, and find within that chapter a verse to take with me throughout the day. I haven't upheld that commitment yet though. Argh! The good that I wish to do, that I do not do!!! However, those first two verses have upheld me all week when I felt I was too busy to read the Bible. (Yes, I know I wasn't truly too busy, I was putting homework over God.) They would seep into my mind when I was stressing out over deadlines, or felt too exhausted to think critically. God continued to use that one hour I gave to Him to pursue me through the rest of the week. He gave me the last thing I was expecting to find when studying - comfort.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-Nbt8lCJrk
However, studying it is. Isaiah 40 was the chapter I decided to study. I had read this chapter recently in preparation for a Bible study, and struck with its beautiful description of God's relationship with His people. To be honest, in choosing to study this passage at this time, I was killing four birds with one stone: along with using it to meeting my study requirement for Spiritual Formation class, I had selected this chapter to memorize for extra credit in another class, and ultimately, I desired to learn more about God as well as prepare for a day of worship. I decided to set a chunk of time for studying on Sunday morning to take advantage of the time change. Setting my phone for an hour, I found an empty room with a large window, and settled down to study.
All thoughts of the tedium of studying were dispelled when I read the first two verses.
Comfort ye.
Comfort ye my people, saith your God. Speak ye comfortably to Jerusalem, and cry unto her, that her warfare is accomplished,
that her iniquity is pardoned: for she hath received of the Lord's hand
double
for all her sins.
The method of study I chose was to transcribe the chapter. Verse after verse flowed from my pencil, rich with the majesty, love, and glorious incomprehensibility of God. Any unease about studying drained from me, leaving me with peace. No, it was not an epiphanal moment. But it was an hour free of concern, knowing I was turning my attention and desires to God, the most worthwhile activity I could undertake. More importantly, I know that through that time, he was pursuing me, pursuing me with comfort, of all things. It almost sounds blasphemous to say it. So often I feel guilt for not doing my share, for making wrong decisions, for allowing misguided, sinful thoughts to control my actions. I forget that God doesn't just wait for me to turn to Him, but He is constantly, persistently, painstakingly, generously, simply pursuing me. I don't need to struggle, He has accomplished the war, on the cross He took away the burden of my sins, and has not only forgiven me, but paid for me doubly with mercy, love, and acceptance. I forget that He is not only offering me heaven at the end of life, but solace here, in Him. It's not wrong to want to be comforted and affirmed, no, we're made for it, we were made to receive God's validating love and acceptance.
After that experience, I have planned to continue to set aside that hour each Sunday morning. The peace I found also prompted me to try to read at least a chapter of my Bible each day, and find within that chapter a verse to take with me throughout the day. I haven't upheld that commitment yet though. Argh! The good that I wish to do, that I do not do!!! However, those first two verses have upheld me all week when I felt I was too busy to read the Bible. (Yes, I know I wasn't truly too busy, I was putting homework over God.) They would seep into my mind when I was stressing out over deadlines, or felt too exhausted to think critically. God continued to use that one hour I gave to Him to pursue me through the rest of the week. He gave me the last thing I was expecting to find when studying - comfort.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-Nbt8lCJrk
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